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I have expressed many times the challenge to fathers to lead their family in daily family devotions. I know this is a challenge and I also know that most men in the church are not doing this. There are many reasons men are intimidated when it comes to taking on the spiritual leadership of their homes, but I do not want to get into that at this time. What I want to do is to share with you, men, how I lead our family devotional time each evening in hopes that it will encourage you to lead your family as well.

When we began doing family devotions it was awkward and challenging. I was uncomfortable, not communicating well with the kids, and they were not enjoying sitting for long. I decided we would read through a book of the Bible. We would gather together after dinner was cleaned up and read a passage. I would ask questions, trying to be practical and help them understand how the passage related to their lives. It was challenging, but we were struggling through it together. We would follow that time with prayer, and then we would work on a passage we were memorizing together.

This process often took an hour, which we learned was way too much. I wanted this to be a priority, but I needed to be more realistic. I needed to find ways to allow the kids to be more engaged, have more fun, and shorten our time without sacrificing what I wanted to accomplish. I needed to be creative, which is not my strong suite.

Jill helped a lot with all of this, giving me ideas, helping me communicate with the kids and encouraging their participation. We began to act out passages, being silly at times, trying to make the time together more interesting. Over the winter, when it got dark early, we were reading through Mark and came to the transfiguration. To try to capture the light shining from Jesus we turned off the lights and put on silly glasses that were painted with glow-in-the-dark paint. Is this what Jesus looked like? They knew it wasn’t, but they remember that night, and they remember that story. We are currently reading through Genesis and are in the middle of the Joseph story. Different children are reading the different characters in the story. When Pharaoh chooses Joseph to lead the nation he places his ring, a robe, and a gold chain on Joseph. So the person reading Pharaoh’s lines did the same to the person reading Joseph’s lines. She put a ring, a multi-colored towel, and a…oops, I forgot to get a necklace…oh well, on her brother. They remember the story.

When we pray, each child has a journal. The ones who cannot read have a picture journal. Each one has a day and they lead us in prayer. We are also able to give them updates on how God is answering prayer, which encourages them in their prayers all the more. It is a powerful lesson for all of us, and a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness.

We also do Scripture memory. We have changed the way we do this recently, and it is working great. I found a simple Scripture memory system that I introduced to the family that takes just a few minutes each day and allows passages to stick quickly and be repeated often. To learn more about that you can go to http://simplycharlottemason.com/timesavers/memorysys/.

You may read this article and still be intimidated. I want to encourage you to simply try something. You don’t have to do all of this. Just start with something. We now take about 40 minutes for all of this. It is an investment that pays dividends every day. Our children are hiding God’s Word in their hearts, they are experiencing God answering prayer, and they are learning how the Scriptures apply to their lives. These are critical life-long lessons for all of us. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). Start training, men.

Some things in life come with the catch phrase “no strings attached”, but this past month was a little different.  Jacob attended a three week long Suzuki String Camp.  The first thing they told all the students was for July there are “Strings Attached”, and we are letting you know up front what they are!

Attached String #1- Diligence

Attached String #2-Great Attitude

Attached String #3- Commitment

Of course, upfront that seems easy, but when you are in the thick of it, it can be easier said than done!  Sometimes the challenges of life make you mentally, emotionally, or spiritually tired.  Then, diligence, great attitude, and commitment become extra challenging.  Jacob learned quite quickly that you must be INTENTIONAL everyday. Starting your day by plannoing on being diligent, planning on having a joyous attitude no matter what comes your way, and sticking to it (endurance) even when the going gets tough!

The month was chalk full of “life lessons” for Jacob.  Times when something that had seemed easy when only contemplated, then in reality was a little more challenging.  We are so proud that he kept an open and honest relationship with us the whole time.  He talked to us about everything, even the hard life lessons when he tried to stand us for what was right and found himself in the minority.  We are proud of his diligence and commitment to growing and learning A LOT. In the end, his anchor held! He did not waver.  

Most of all, Jacob learned that when God gives you a gift, you must work hard to take care of it, learn about it, and be willing to be challenged in order to allow God’s gift to grow in you.  He went in planning on allowing God to challenge him in his giftedness, and he was joyously surprised at what he experienced.

Jacob we are so proud of you!!! You are becoming such a diligent and joyous young man of God (and cellist too) !

We have always been goal oriented people.  To know where you are headed and why helps in so many ways.  This year we sat down, not just as a married couple, but as a whole family and set goals for the year.  Some where event oriented, like visiting the Butterfly museum. Some were school oriented, Jamie said she wanted to (and I quote) “what to do with all those ABCs on the papers”- so she wanted to learn to read.  Some were individual, some were family. Some were task oriented and some were spiritual, like one of the kids wanted to learn how to explain that Jesus is a better choice than other things to their friends. 

Here’s our top 10 reasons why you should consider sitting down as a family and setting goals.  Goals for the months to come and goals for the year. Maybe even goals for a few years out.  Involve the WHOLE family.  You would be surprised how much kids enjoy this.  They just love planning on great things to come.   

1.) It helps you stay focused and say “No” to competeing affections. There are a lot of “good” things out there, but you have to make a choice.

2.) It is very motivating to you and your children.  Just like the excitement of preparation for a big holiday, kids LOVE planning on great things to come!  You will be pleasantly shocked at the drive that is instilled in your children!  As well as how much they learn in the planning process. 

3.) Peace. Sometimes the  chaos of life and all the choices that drag us in different directions makes our brains dizzy!  KNOWING where your priorities lie and having them written down is a huge source of peace and erases the chaos of choice making.

4.) See God answer prayer in your family. When something is just around he corner we get ready for it.  That usually means part of our preparation is praying for that upcoming thing.  When we pray as a family for the upcoming events that we have committed to for the year, we quickly begin to SEE so many MORE answers to prayer.  Why?  Because we are LOOKING!!!  God always answers, we forget to look.

5.) Blessing a family member–If someone in your family loves to plan and organize a calendar- Then this will be a HUGE blessing to them.  They love to know what they can count on!!!

6.) Your children will automatically reach higher and higher each time you sit down to talk. It started in our house with simple things like finish this book, go the the butterfly museum.  Then, it turned into bigger things.  Sophie’s story below is the perfect example.

7.) Meaningless, meaningless, meaningless.  Sometimes people feel like they are so “full of life” that it seems meaningless to them- what does it really matter in the end?  Goal setting is perfect to combat this!  You go from one or tow things all the way to running out of paper because your family plans so many meaningFULL things.

8.) Family Unity.  Our world divides up family members left and right.  From sports, to school, even church events.  They are all good things, but they divide up the family.  Setting goals helps you make sure that you work together as a family!

9.) Your kids will not just “know” but they will experience how much you value their ideas, goals, and opinions.

10.) You will grow in wisdom and stature. Truly you will. Throughout Scripture, there are countless examples of people “stepping forward in faith" in some great adventure” and then you see how much they grow.  In the end we grow to because we learn from their example.  THAT COULD BE YOU!  God calls us all to step out in faith.  What is HE asking you to COMMITT to,  not just “intend” to do?  You will surely grow by committing your time to Him!

SOPHIE’S STORY OF GOAL SETTING:

We have this Christmas CD of beautiful harp music. Sophie listened to it all season.  When we set Goals in January, who knew that she was going to say “ I would like to learn the harp”. Wow, really? Yes really Dad & Mom, I really do. Alright, lets write that down.  Anything else?  Yes I would like to meet Betty-Ashton (the harpist on the CD). Well OK Sophie!! That sounds Like a great goal. Now what do we need to do to reach that goal? We must insert that Sophie is not normally an initiative taker and surely doesn’t like new things-  this was a HUGE goal! So we set about planning, learning what it would take, writing letters, etc.

Then  in early spring Sophie began lessons.  Her violin teacher “just happened” to be friends with a harp distributer in the area who “just happened” to give lessons and have “just one slot available”.  They “just happened” to have a student sized harp we could rent as we learned and “just happened” to live nearby.  And Sophie “just happened” to see HOW AMAZING God’s perfect timing is when you pay attention and how NOTHING “just happens” in life!!!  Of course she had already been taught that, but now she had a life story to prove it!

Then this June, for Sophie’s 9th Birthday. She met Betty-Ashton. She wrote to her just after the new year.  She found out she lived in Nashville, not too far from where we go to a homeschooling conference and Emi & C-Dub live!!!  Then, to Sophie’s shock, Betty Ashton offered to meet with her for an afternoon free of charge!!!. She went to her home, got to hear her play, learned that Betty Ashton started playing when she was 9 too,  learned about teaching & harp therapy, learned how to make the harp sound like a spanish guitar, and even got to play on her harps.  She went home with a t-shirt, a new CD of songs composed by Betty Ashton, and IMMENSE JOY and ENCOURAGEMENT.  She set a goal.  She worked toward it.  and WOW- how blessed she was when it came to fruition!!!!

There once was a day called May

It was filled joy and play

So much to do it made time fly

All the days passed in a blink of an eye

There once was a day called May

Here are a few of the May highlights from our family:

We had the privilege of being a part of Nauna & Nat’s wedding in New York.  Jacob had his first ever “live” performance to play cello for the ceremony, and Sophie got to stand up in the wedding.  We all had a wonderful time seeing friends from Mom’s childhood, and visiting with family.  We even got to play on their BIG grassy hill with their new dog Fritz, and a little baseball too!

Then we traveled to Ohio/PA area to see the extended Martin family.  What a BLAST!!! We stayed at Uncle Dave & Aunt Betsy’s.  They have a HUGE & FAST new zip line, plus a trampoline!  We had a great time catching up with family.  We were also blessed to see our dear friends, The Ellis’s and their four little kids, who just started in the pastorate. 

Stay tuned for Zip line pix……soon to come!

Then we were off to Nashville!  Where we spent time bowling with Emi (mom’s sister) & C-dub.  They have a lot of friends that are musicians.  So while the other kids played, Jacob interviewed a few of them on their instruments and techniques! There is always time for nurf gun training.  In addition, Sophie had the privilege of spending the day with Betty Ashton a harpist (that we will place as a separate blog entry).

Then we were off to our homeschooling conference. The kids had such a great tie making new friends and seeing old ones, as well as learning about the blessings of God. The family’s highlight was seeing Robert & Clayton perform on dueling pianos!  WOW AMAZING!!!  Dad and Mom got to hear some great teaching and were thankful to reconnect to friends met in years past.  I see a few road trips coming up!!!  To see some great pictures from the conference, our friend James Staddon took some great shots.  Click here- Pix from Nashville from James

To see some great shots of real guns (verses nurf) check out The Neely’s recent blog entry- you can click here-  The Bigger Gun!!! by the Neely’s  

Stay tuned for Events on a Zip line and A Day of Harpping with Sophie

Twenty years from now, what is your desire for your children?  Is it for them to “grow up”, get a degree, have some amazing job?  OR do you desire MORE for your children? We do.  We ask ourselves regularly, “What will this build in them?” or “How will this shape them?”  We desire for our children to grow in Godly character and in deep relationship with God.  We desire for them to know how much they are loved and chosen, so that they will be able to love others more freely.  We make family choices based on these desires.  We plan vacations around them.  We choose topics for homeschooling around them.  We even plan field trips around them.

We, like every parent on earth, are very aware that parenting is a refiner’s fire.  God uses children, as well as many other life circumstances, to teach us where we need to grow.  As our children model our words, actions, emotions, responses, we are held accountable to a higher standard every day!  There is nothing like a child mimicking your attitude to put you in your place with God!!!  Sometimes you don’t even need to be a parent yet-  just an older sibling.

Last month we spent learning about the process of refining metals and making glass.  We learned how metals are purified multiple times to increase their value, how sand is turned into glass, and how we, as Christians, are refined throughout life.

We went to a local artist workshop on making glass.  He was a wonderful host to our family and took time to teach each child the process of glass making. He even gave us a tour of the historical church where his studio is located.  At the end, he allowed us to stay extra and watch him work on a project.  We decided to split up the family and we will do a second visit in a few months.  Since there was a 2000 degree furnace involved- we thought that was a wise choice for our family!  In the end, we came home with BEAUTIFUL stained glass flowers to give as a present to Nauna and Nat for their recent wedding. 

We can’t wait to go back with the rest of the kids.  In the meantime, we have no doubt that God will continue to supply us with our own personal “furnace” to refine us day by day!